» The Best Dock, Ever III

Okay, I promise this is the last dock I will post this summer. However, having, myself, just stepped out of the boat onto one and driving past hundreds of them today, know just what they mean to the landscape. And, docks have quite a lot of impact, both visually and ecologically speaking. I have seen several wanky, crooked and ugly ones today in many stages of obtrusiveness and dilapidation. This photograph inspires me. Simply nice.

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» day 4: “Now that is foul and nasty!”

I had a profound thought in the shower this morning. I always have my best thoughts in the shower.

Jesus is like a bar of soap.

A bar of soap can clean many dirty hands, bodies, clothes, etc, without ever getting dirty itself. Jesus came down to our foul and nasty world and started clean us on the inside, one by one. And he never took on our messes. 

A washcloth, for instance, does take on our messes. Or a paper towel. You use them to soak up the mess, to move it to where its more acceptable. Just like drug, sex, and alcohol addictions. Just like medications for five year olds. Just like our smaller ticks and habits and addictions that go unnoticed. We use our earthly means to move our pain and our dysfunction to somewhere where its more acceptable. Where it can’t be seen. It’s still there, and it’s still a mess.

We can’t clean ourselves.

Don’t we wish we could?

“Going mad is a luxury the middle class cannot afford.”


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» I heard something

I heard Claire on the phone this morning when I was cleaning my room. I think she thought I was outside because she was talking pretty loudly. Or maybe she wanted me to hear her..

She must have been on the phone to her Mum. They were talking about our place and I suppose her mum asked her how everything is going. It was then I heard something that I really didnt want to hear.

Claire wants to ask me to move out.

She said that she can’t get any sleep because she can hear me making noises throughout the night and early in the morning and she doesnt enjoy living with me anymore. She said it isnt like it used to be, where my habits were annoying, but they didnt interfere with her life. She could still do her everyday things without worrying about mess or without me cleaning up after her and putting her things away without asking her. She said that she wanted me to get help because she doesnt want to see her friend deteriorate in front of her eyes.

I dont know what her Mum said to that, but I sat in the corner of my room with my fingers in my ears for what seemed like hours. When I took them out, Claire was off the phone.

I haven’t left my room all day. Its now nighttime. I don’t want to go out because I dont want Claire to ask me to leave. That would be the worst thing that could happen. I need Claire.

I’ve already scrubbed the floors of my room today but I can see they are still dirty, so I’m going to do them again. I really want to wash myself because I feel so dirty for hearing Claire’s conversation, but I dont want to go out there. I think I’ll just use some cleaning product on my body as well. If it can get dirt out of the floor, then it can get dirt out of my body.

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